wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
