If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
