I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
