cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize