Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
nutella sex= disaster
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
