My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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