It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize