Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I want her autograph on my taint
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
