then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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