After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
