It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
