So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
