Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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