i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize