i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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