It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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