She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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