What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
