Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
