And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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