I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
