Screwed.edu
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
