This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
