Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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