This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
