I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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