When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
