Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
