I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
