Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.