Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!