Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti

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  (770): I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti http://tfl.nu/zbwe
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.

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  (919): DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages. http://tfl.nu/6cym
  Replies (16) Good night (2932) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.

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  (251): I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole. http://tfl.nu/c6gz
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.

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  (972): Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy. http://tfl.nu/2xr2
  Replies (52) Good night (904) Bad night (9545) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan

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  (252): Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan http://tfl.nu/gb68
  Replies (46) Good night (3719) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me

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  (732): my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me http://tfl.nu/ef5u
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.

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  (970): She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat. http://tfl.nu/yazk
  Replies (17) Good night (2255) Bad night (4781) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.

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  (801): This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me. http://tfl.nu/7tsq
  Replies (19) Good night (988) Bad night (3523) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand

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  (253): Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand http://tfl.nu/sefe
  Replies (6) Good night (1266) Bad night (1154) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.

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  (626): I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there. http://tfl.nu/iwr8
  Replies (3) Good night (1531) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.

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  (847): So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country. http://tfl.nu/mcq8
  Replies (9) Good night (2163) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"

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  (917): she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall" http://tfl.nu/c8ce
  Replies (2) Good night (1404) Bad night (272) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.

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  (412): so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head? (724): stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final. http://tfl.nu/zs0y
  Replies (2) Good night (1249) Bad night (253)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.

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  (405): Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man. http://tfl.nu/rjwi
  Replies (2) Good night (369) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.

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  (330): just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue. http://tfl.nu/y6r9
  Replies (4) Good night (449) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt

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