Duck Duck Cougar?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i've created a new STD.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
