I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
