by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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