my soul wont recognize me after tonight
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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