Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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