If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
