Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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