i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
