At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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