After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
