Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
