He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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