I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
BRING THE BAGELS
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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