why didn't you poke me back
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
