i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
