if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
