Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I need a beard to bite.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
