ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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