it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You need a sexual gate keeper
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
