I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You took a bar mat shot.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
