I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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