somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
