You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Buhtt sex?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Its about making memories worth repressing
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You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
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I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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