Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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