This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
