I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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