They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
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You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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