we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.