hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
last night I used snow as a chaser
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize