I think I am morally bankrupt
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
