I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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