I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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