If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
