in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
