you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
