i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
