i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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