Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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